My Writing Adventure

Just finished the first day of my two-week stint as a freelance writer. For pay, I got to research travel to the Bahamas and Barbados. I handed in my first article on the Bahamas and got some really encouraging feedback.

We'll see what God has in store for me in terms of this gig. I'm trying to just glorify Him in as many ways as I am able, and not try to see into the future.

Hey! I got the freelance job and I start Monday. It's only two weeks, but we'll see what God does.

All I can say, is this is crazy!!! Crazy-good!!

:-)

So.... nothing ever came of submitting my resume for the writing job. Which was disappointing, but not surprising since they listed their ad on a well-known job website. Those job postings literally receive hundreds of responses.

I still question whether or not God wants me to be an Executive Assistant again. I have a really wonderful-looking resume, I interview well, but there seems to be no interest in me from the companies to whom I've been presented.

I'm speaking to an acquaintance from church later today about doing some freelance writing, and a possible job. We'll see what happens.

On another note, I asked God if, in His graciousness, He still wanted me to write, to please resurrect this call on my life. Soon after, He sent a reader to my Gathered Chick blog, also named Heidi, who is writing a book set in a similar time period as mine. We have decided to work together on the research. What a blessing she has been to me!!! And how good is our God!?!? In my flesh, I would definitely remove a job from someone who is just dragging their feet. But, for whatever reason, this is something God wants me to do. I feel honored and blessed that He would continue to give me the opportunity.

Stay tuned...

This poor blog. Clearly shame doesn't motivate me, evidenced by all the years I spent as a gal shopping in the extra-extra large section.

My writing adventure is mostly one of anxiety and indecision. Do I write? Do I not write? Should I pursue writing? Should I forget about writing? How do I do this? It's schizophrenic, at best.

In this season when I've had plenty of time during the day, I've found it still isn't enough time to write when you don't know what you're doing. Every day seems to be overfull and I continue to be offered more opportunities to be involved and serve at church. As much as it pains me, I have declined a few church requests. People have recently commented I don't have time to have a regular job. I am certainly not looking for more things to do.

Speaking of a regular job, as I continue to seek out a full-time work position, I've been looking in the Executive Assistant field, since that's what I've done for the last nine years. But, I'm beginning to wonder if God has other plans for me since no doors are opening in that area. So, I've actually put my resume in for a writing job. It's crazy, I'm probably not qualified, and my husband is sure the pay won't be enough. But, we'll see.

I'll keep you posted...

Dear Readers,
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Thanks!

Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

I took a time-out this afternoon to go see a cute little movie.

For 9 - that's N I N E - American dollars.

For a 3:55 pm showing of a two-hour movie. At which I am forced to see commercials beforehand.

But, that's not what I haven't been able to stop thinking about this afternoon.

For better or for worse, I rarely go to the movie theatre. When I do, it is usually to see a movie that only kids and their parents are attending. (I'm just not an R-rating kind of girl). I only want to waste, I mean spend, that much money on a movie that multiple trusted reviewers claim is really worth it.

So here's what I can't stop thinking about: I am floored that parents pay $9 (or more at a non-matinee) per person to bring children who have no business being at the movies into a movie theatre.

Now, I'm not saying we should ban children from the movie theatre below a certain age. But, where is a little discernment these days?

When I saw Prince Caspian a few months ago, the 8 or 9-year-old girl sitting next to me had zero comprehension of what was happening during the first half of the movie. She was either explaining it to herself or asking her mother to explain it to her.

Which led me to question if she, or any of the other question-filled youngsters in that theatre, was capable of simple reasoning. Because the who is that question asked by children all around me for the first 15 minutes was about to drive me bonkers. I mean, might they figure out that he's the title character - Prince Caspian??

Speaking of which, parents seem to have given up on speaking quietly in the movie theatre. Today, I was bewildered, humorously so, by the little social microcosm I stepped into by going to a movie theatre populated by little girls under 10 and their mom or dad. There was a dull roar the entire movie. Some kids, and some parents for that matter, didn't even try to whisper.

Unless I'm remembering incorrectly because of the lack of oxygen up here on my high-horse, I would have been given the look of death by my parents if I had deigned to make a peep in the beautiful old Fox Theater in Redlands, where I saw many Disney double-features.

Today, the movie I viewed lost over half the kids in the audience in the first 15-minutes. Kit Kittredge deals with some difficult to understand, and frankly depressing, concepts. The little girl behind me was absolutely begging to be taken home by the movie's midpoint.

Now, I'm not saying that Kit Kittredge isn't worth seeing - although it frankly should have been a "wait for video" since it doesn't need to be seen in a theatre. The American Girl movies do a terrific job of giving the viewer a taste of what a certain period of history might have been like. Kit's parents are wonderful examples of two people in very tough circumstances who choose to handle their unhappy circumstances with grace. There are many lovely aspects to this story. I just wish parents would wait to bring their kids to the theatre until they can fully understand, and enjoy, the film being presented.

Also, since I'm already ranting full-force, what mother doesn't notice their kid kicking the seat in front of them? Okay - maybe this is the ban I would create and enforce: Don't Put Your Feet Up On the Seat In Front Of You.

I can't wait until I'm a parent so I can not bring my kids to the movie theatre.

*Sigh*

I just spent the last few days taking the Scrivener tutorial, importing my already written documents, trying to figure out how to format those documents, and getting some semblance of organization going.

I've struggled with moving forward with my novel because every time I look at what I've written, I think it's terrible and work to rewrite it. And, that, my friend, is getting me nowhere.

Also, working with a dozen Word documents gets confusing. The nice thing about Scrivener is that you can see all your documents at a glance. I actually found scenes I had forgotten about - ooops!

I read a quote by Terri Blackstock today that I've posted in Scrivener to remind me to keep moving forward. Terri says, "Don't get it right, get it written."

Terri's theory is that you just need to get the first draft written (oh, first draft, how I long to see you). Then, you can re-write, but not before.

In an odd way I cannot explain, I feel writing this book is an act of obedience. I need to get going and get this thing written or let God give this task to someone else - not something I feel led to do.

Anyway, that's the progress for now. My mouse-arm and fingers are aching so I must be doing something right. Or should I say, write? (That was terrible. I think it's time for me to call it a day. Good Night!)

I needed something to help me organize my writing better than just a word processor. So, I purchased a copy of Scrivener last week. It's a pretty powerful piece of software and I'm eager to dig in and put it to work. Check out Scrivener here: http://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener.html

As I continue to receive reminders to pray for Steven Curtis Chapman's family because of their loss of little Maria, I wanted to share a link to an interview with Mary Beth Chapman from 2003. It is an interesting peek into what their family has gone through in order to adopt their Chinese daughters and an honest conversation about Mary Beth's struggle with depression.
Click here to read the article.

Click here for information on the Chapman's adoption ministry called Shaohannah's Hope.

Please continue to pray for the Chapman family, especially the son who accidentally hit Maria.

In a nutshell, "Imagine" won the title for David Archuleta. That kid can bring it! He stepped up his game tonight and gave his best performances of the season.

That being said, David Cook is the better all-around performer. As much as I would love to see him win, I think that it might be better for him to come in second. He wouldn't have to do all the publicity after the AI season and could go home to spend more time with his brother before the tour starts.

I agree with Simon that David Cook's last selection was a mistake. Moments before Simon commented, I said that David should have done "Billy Jean," "Hello," or "Eleanor Rigby" again. But, mastering "The World I Know" shows David Cook's range and ability to bring something fresh.

No matter what happens, these young men are certain to have very strong careers in front of them.

I've received some very encouraging feedback on my writing over the last few days. My writers group on Friday was extremely affirming. I also sent a sample to a very close friend and then to a new friend who I trust to be "firm but kind." Everyone has confirmed that I have something worthwhile here so I'll keep plugging away.

Today I was encouraged by someone who told me that maybe my book won't be available for others to read until we're in heaven. I get so bogged down by what might happen here and now. As my DH would attest, I struggle with writing this book even though I feel very confident God has told me to write (not that this book has anything profound to say. It's just something He's asked me to do.)

So, I've got to knuckle down and get busy. For His kingdom and His glory.

I always tend to feel a little lost on Sundays. I know I should revel in having this day of rest but I never really seem to know quite what to do. My only-child DH craves his downtime and spends most of the day in front of his computer or with a game - that I have zero interest in joining.

I feel like I just kind of wander around, trying to stave off the temptation to overeat, until the day is done.

The only things I can think to do involve work. And, it seems like nothing else really interests me. I don't even feel all that interested in answering emails.

As a Christian, I know Sunday should be the best day of the week. But, I've always struggled a little with Sundays...




Thanks for listening. I'm going to apply Carolyn Mahaney's principles to my Sundays and start planning them a little better. Maybe if I have a few Sunday-plans made in advance, I'll know better what to do when the next free Sunday rolls around.

My writing adventure is turning out to be very interesting. The writer's conference I was scheduled to attend on Saturday has been canceled. And the more I know about writing, the less qualified I feel to do it. So, I'm seeking God for His will. I had hoped I would receive more clarity at next weekend's writer's conference but the clarity will apparently come at another time - maybe even sooner.

For now, I am thrilled at all the blog readers who visited my post last week about the Shower "Thingy." People from all over the U.S. visited this blog and I was thrilled to receive my very first comments.

If you're here, reading this blog, I want you to know I appreciate you. Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts and feel free to visit my other blog at www.gatheredchick.blogspot.com.

Thanks and I'll keep you posted!

Rocks in my Dryer is doing "Doesn't Work for Me Wednesday" today instead of her usual "Works for Me Wednesday" blog carnival. Since I purchased the Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner due to RIMD's recommendation, and because I told you I would let you know if it worked, I thought I would participate this week and comment.

In short, does this tub look clean to you?

Okay, this picture probably isn't a great representation. But, basically the tub looks just as dirty as it does when we don't clean it for three weeks (which we would never do). I kept hoping the Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner (henceforth known as the Thingy) would kick in at some point. I started the Scrubbing Bubbles Thingy with a clean tub so, I was more than a little sad when the tub just kept getting dirtier and dirtier.

Bottom line - it isn't cleaning all that well. Or maybe we have a weird tub surface. Or maybe we have exceptionally dirty feet. I mean, it came so highly recommended that maybe we are the problem. But, regardless, it isn't keeping the tub clean.

Also, the glass doors never look anything close to clean because we no longer use a squeegee before we get out of the shower. It would be fruitless since the Scrubbing Bubbles Thingy sprays the doors after the last shower of the day.

And, because we have brass fixtures, we have to rinse off the brass after the Thingy has been run. Our brass fixtures have looked pretty bad since the day we moved in but since the Thingy's instructions were emphatic about not using with brass, we dutifully rinse the fixtures after use each morning.

Did I mention the smell? I've been known to buy certain products just for the smell. For example, Palmolive's Oxy Plus Dishwashing Liquid in Alpine Purity fits that bill. I can't say that I would go out of my way for the Thingy's smell.

HOWEVER, yesterday when I finally decided enough was enough, I pulled out my Lemon Soft Scrub and my Magic Eraser with Extra Power to clean the tub. (By the way, I LOVE the new extra strength Magic Erasers - genius!) What usually takes a lot of huffing and puffing in order to get a clean tub took about three minutes and very little elbow grease.

So, in theory, the Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner doesn't work for me as it is supposed to, but it did make cleaning the tub easier for me.

All in all, I'm glad I tried it. There was nothing lost in trying it because I essentially got it for free due to my membership with The Grocery Game.

Okay, that's it for now. Don't forget - you can subscribe to this post's feed and the feed for Gathered Chick by following the "subscribe" link in the sidebar of each blog.

The Orange County Christian Writer's Fellowship Spring Writer's Day was great. I was really sick and probably shouldn't have gone health-wise, but I felt God wanted me to be there. No one gave me a hard time about coming even though I was sick. However, I certainly would have, if I'd been the healthy one.

As much as I felt God wanted me there, I felt the Enemy didn't - down to our hairdryer breaking and DH having to run out to Walgreens at 5:30 am to pick up a new one. For $12 it doesn't dry very fast but it's better than wet hair.

I'm not sure I came away with anything constructive except for some good relationship connections, a reaffirmation that the publishing industry is VERY hard to break into, and no "Don't Quit Your Day Job" notes on my fiction submission. Mostly the only notes on my submission were errors on commas. One of my previous bosses thought a comma should go wherever you would pause in speech, so I need a refresher course on commas and punctuation. I picked up Kathy Ide's PUGs book, to help me with that kind of thing.

Please pray that I am wise during this season. Unlike my other job losses, I don't feel compelled to run out and get a job - which is usually my m.o. I'm generally so afraid about our money situation that I'm scared to let us go a week without a full paycheck.

I'm trying to listen to the Lord to see if He is really the one giving me peace about not working or if I'm just being lazy. I can't explain this writing thing except to say that I feel God say over and over (not daily, but regularly) that I am supposed to write this book. It is completely daunting. I'm not sure I even want the job of writing this book. I feel completely unqualified. And I don't know if this is something I'm supposed to write for publication or if it is something I'm just supposed to write for me.

Anyway, that's where I'm at for now.

Almost forgot! Author Beverly Lewis, who spoke at the OCCWF event, shared that she was in three critique groups for many years so those in my Fiction Intensive are starting a new Fiction critique group. (Also have to mention that Diana Glyer gave a magnificent talk at OCCWF on the Inklings and how C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien encouraged the members of that group.) That gives me two groups to participate in, as long as I have Friday mornings free. I'm looking forward to getting regular feedback from people who don't have a reason to say nice things to me.

I'm just sitting down to tonight's American Idol results show. The first few minutes reminded me that I need to make a disclaimer - I don't approve of everything on AI, which was evident during the recap of last night's show.

But then, American Idol redeemed themselves by singing Shout to the Lord - AGAIN!! And, this time they didn't change the words. They started right out with "My Jesus, My Savior."

Unbelievable!!!

Ryan Seacrest said that this was the song that got the most iTune downloads, although right now a few other AI songs seem to be out-charting it.

Wow!! Glory to God - in a big way!!

Only two more days until the OCCWF Spring Writer's Day and I've caught the cold. Yuck!! But, I am doing my very best to get over this thing - lots of liquids, gargling every 30 minutes (double yuck) and two naps yesterday.

Because of the two naps, I wasn't ready for an early bedtime so DH and I stayed up to watch American Idol. I know - some of you just don't understand the craze. I was a prideful non-AI watcher for years but I've been sucked in. All I can say is, don't knock it until you try it.

Interestingly, there's usually a lot of Christian talent on AI and it's been fun to cheer our brothers and sisters on. However, this season I wasn't all that sure if any of the contestants were Christians or not. Previously, we've had outspoken Mandisa (who I just love!), Chris Sligh and Melinda Doolittle - and that's just the first three names that came to mind. Jordin Sparks, Carrie Underwood - I could go on and on. But, this season, I just wasn't sure (maybe Kristy Lee Cook?) and, to be honest, hadn't taken the time to find out.

Anyway, we watched our taped version of AI so we could skip all the commercials - well, except the Mac ads, of course. Unfortunately, our DVR missed the last few minutes but it didn't seem to matter much so we almost turned off the TV. But, when we hit erase on the DVR, it took us back to FOX so we went ahead and rewound to see what we missed.

And what we missed left us with our mouths hanging open!! I think I used the word surreal about 10 times. Check it out:



The American Idol finalists sang Shout to the Lord. One of the most famous, if not THE most famous praise song of all time. Go Darlene Zschech and Hillsongs!!! GO GOD!!!!

They did change the first line from "My Jesus" to "My Shepherd" which was a disappointment but other than that, the words stayed exactly as written. I couldn't have been more blown away.

AI has featured a number of Christian songs lately. On Tuesday, guests The Clark Brothers sang "This Little Light of Mine." Then, Jason Castro sang "Travelin' Through" (a quick Google search makes me suspect Jason might also be a believer). David Archuleta sang "Smokey Mountain Memories" and Dolly Parton sang a song about "Jesus and Gravity." Again, I might not agree with the theology in all these songs but whenever Jesus is mentioned on TV as something other than a swear word, then I've got to say
AMEN!

How happy am I? Pretty happy.

So far, The Grocery Game has been a phenomenal success in my house. I'm embarrassed to realize how much money I've been wasting at the grocery store. Now, mind you, The Grocery Game does take some extra time so I'm not sure we would have realized this much in savings if I was working. Also, note that you have to do your shopping on either Sunday, Monday or Tuesday to gain the most savings.

My M.O. is to pick up the paper on Sunday (have you ever tried canceling home delivery of the paper? I'd rather pay the extra few cents and pick it up.) I cut my coupons and make my list on Monday and then I shop on Tuesday.

Here's what I've saved so far (drum roll, please)...

I saved 42% last week on my grocery shopping.

I saved 44% this week AND I got a coupon for $10.00 off my next shopping trip.

WOWEE-WOW-WOW!!

I'm simply blown away. This is totally worth the money.

I didn't have to change grocery stores and I even saved a trip to Target this week because all the household items I would normally purchase there were on sale at Vons. I even got a Scrubbing Bubbles Automatic Shower Cleaner because Rocks In My Dryer recommended it so highly. And I got it for $8.99. $8.99!!! I would normally NEVER EVER buy something like this because it seems like such a waste of money. But I really don't like cleaning the shower so if this works, then HOORAY FOR ME! If not, I'll let you know.

On a writing note (this is a writing blog, after all), the Orange County Christian Writer's Fellowship Spring Writer's Day (that's a mouthful!) is this Saturday at Mariner's Church in Newport Beach. I'm SO excited!! If you know anything about writer's conferences, you'll know that this is a real value. Top notch talent, big publisher editors, and really friendly people will be there, cheering you on in your craft. If you live in the Orange County area and write or even think about writing, you should plan to attend. Click here for more information and to register: OCCWF Spring Writer's Day.

Okay - that's enough excitement for now. I hope to see you at Spring Writer's Day!!

I can't write if I end up having to get a full time job so I'm researching ways to save money. My husband is the generous type who always tells me to buy something if I need it. That's nice but it's always made me feel a little uneasy. I mean, I don't want us to get behind on a bill just because I thought a new book would be nice to have.

My good friend, Holly, recommended The Grocery Game to me. Because I am the cautious type, I've spent about four weeks researching this program and finally signed up today. I've always cut coupons (thanks Other Mother!!) but have never stockpiled products. Plus, DH and I enjoy eating out way too much to have such a good excuse to eat at home. But, invention being the mother of necessity, I'm going to give this a try.

If you are a coupon clipper or a Grocery Game member, please leave a comment and let me know how it is going for you.

I just finished the last of today's edits to my ten page manuscript and two page summary. God is so amazingly good. I wasn't sure I would make it to this point.

Please pray that I will catch any last second edits necessary before I print and mail the paperwork tomorrow.

Good night!

Finally, the writer writes! I've been talking about writing "the story" for so long that I wasn't sure if I could do it.

I've written every day, except Sunday, for 90 minutes since March 5. And I'm surprised at what comes out. Some of it is almost good and some of it is total drivel, but it gives me something to edit. Thankfully, I know none of it is from me - I'm just a vessel.

With much encouragement from others, I've taken the step of faith to sign up for the Fiction Intensive Workshop at the Orange County Christian Writer's Fellowship Spring Writer's Day (say that five times fast). I must submit ten pages of manuscript and a two page synopsis for receipt on Wednesday (not electronically but snail mail). I'm really excited what I'll learn at the Workshop because it is limited to only 12 participants. They extended the deadline from March 1 to March 12 so I MUST have my paperwork in at the Post Office in a Priority Mail envelope tomorrow. Yikes!!

Just typing the due date made me realize, I've got to get back to work!

The writer's conference I was scheduled to attend this coming Saturday has been postponed until May. At first, I was really disappointed and wallowed in thoughts like, "Fine! This home re-organization has taken on a life of its own anyway. I don't have time to write. It was a stupid idea. See if I care!" Not an hour later, I received an email from the writer's fellowship to which I belong saying that their special fiction workshop in April has extended their deadline and will accept submissions until March 13. Which means, if I really hurry, I could possibly submit my work and participate in the writer's fellowship event, which is much larger and actually a better opportunity. So much for the I-don't-care-anyway attitude.

I happened to run across a website yesterday for author Deborah Raney. I haven't read any of her work but saw that the Complete Idiot's Guide to Writing Christian Fiction recently released. I just called Barnes and Noble and they are holding a copy for me right this very moment. I plan to use one of my Christmas gift cards to pick it up tonight or tomorrow morning. Hopefully this book will help me start off on the right track so my two page synopsis and ten pages of writing will wow the fiction workshop leaders.

As for what I'm reading right now, I'm tearing through some books that a friend loaned me. Terri Blackstock's Last Light, Night Light and True Light are really well written and fun to read. I highly recommend them, especially if you are interested in a fast-paced thriller with a spiritual message.

I am truly astounded that it is already February 11. How have the first six weeks of 2008 passed so quickly? Needless to say, my writing adventure isn't off to a very good start. Although my pace is slower, my life has been full of working (handing my job over to someone else), church, funeral preparation for my husband's dear grandmother and the basics of quiet time and exercise.

In my prayer time this morning, I realized that I can no longer use the excuse that I deserve the tv time, extra dessert or the special something I want to buy. Although I haven't had full days to enjoy my freedom, I've had moments and those will have to do because it is time to get to work.

Unfortunately, the writing will be delayed for a bit longer because I have to finish with the company who was hired to help me polish my resume and interviewing skills. I have eleven more days with them and then my time will be more focused on writing.

To actually write something worthwhile is going to take a lot of discipline...

I found this morning's devotional to be so timely and encouraging I wanted to share it:

Morning

The Lord is our righteousness. Jeremiah 23:6

It will always give a Christian the greatest calm, quiet, ease, and peace to think of the perfect righteousness of Christ. How often are the saints of God downcast and sad! I do not think they ought to be. I do not think they would be if they could always see their perfection in Christ. There are some who are always talking about corruption and the depravity of the heart and the innate evil of the soul. This is quite true, but why not go a little further and remember that we are perfect in Christ Jesus. It is no wonder that those who are dwelling upon their own corruption should wear such downcast looks; but surely if we call to mind “Christ Jesus, whom God made . . . our righteousness,”¹ we shall be of good cheer. What though distresses afflict me, though Satan assault me, though there may be many things to be experienced before I get to heaven, those are done for me in the covenant of divine grace; there is nothing wanting in my Lord—Christ has done it all. On the cross He said, “It is finished!” and if it be finished, then am I complete in Him and can rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory, “not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith.”2 You will not find on this side of heaven a holier people than those who receive into their hearts the doctrine of Christ’s righteousness. When the believer says, “I live on Christ alone; I rest on Him solely for salvation; and I believe that, however unworthy, I am still saved in Jesus,” then there rises up as a motive of gratitude this thought: “Shall I not live to Christ? Shall I not love Him and serve Him, seeing that I am saved by His merits?” “The love of Christ controls us,”3 “that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.”4 If saved by imputed righteousness, we shall greatly value imparted righteousness.

I had lunch with my dear friend, Sheri, today. (Hi Sheri!)

I poured out my heart and my feelings of conviction about how stupid writing feels to me. I've said it before but I am not qualified for this task. Sheri encouraged me to just break up this major to-do into little tasks -- and WRITE! I need to get past the frustration of not having things the way I want them and start moving forward. (Thanks Sheri!!)

Sometimes I'll troll the internet looking for some kind of encouragement only to be discouraged in the end. Reading blogs about other people's cute toddlers or new cars or how very difficult it is to be a professional writer tends to drag me down a little rather than building me up. That is actually why I started the Gathered Chick blog in the first place. I was talking to God about my discouragement after doing a little internet surfing and I felt His leading to start a blog of my own to encourage anyone who might read it. And I'm not sure many people are reading it but I hope it encourages them.

On another note, if you were taught, as I was, that God and the pronouns to describe Him should be capitalized but are noticing that some authors don't follow this rule, check out this incredibly informative article to learn more: http://www.allaboutgod.com/the-write-way/issue-28.pdf.

~ H

First post of 2008. As my other blog, Gathered Chick, indicates, this year hasn't quite gone as I expected it would.

During the last two weeks I've really struggled with the whole idea of writing. I am completely unqualified and often dread even composing a simple thank-you note. I asked God for clarity on this issue and got a firm "move forward" from Him during the weekend message at church.

Our pastor taught on Matthew 13:1-23, the Parable of the Sower. He called the person in verse 22 "The Chronically Conflicted." This person wants Christ to be a good addition to their life, instead of having Christ be their life. I cried as I realized that God has spoken to me over and over that He has a story He wants me to write. If Christ is indeed my life, then who am I to say I can't or won't do this because I'm scared or fear failure.

I want to be the person in verse 23 who is all-in and produces a bountiful crop. So, here I am. Ready to do the Lord's will. (But still saying "eeek!" at the prospect.)

Yesterday I went to the Apple store to check out their low end laptops. I asked God to please stop me from buying the laptop if this isn't what He wants or to please give me the go-ahead if this is His will. Through some circumstances, I believe I got His "move forward" again. My laptop should be here in a couple of weeks and I'm actually a little excited about it.

~H